Life with two Smalls and a fistful of daydreams


cbaXX-rated Fiction’


Regular readers of CFHW will probably have figured out by now that I read a fair bit of X-rated fiction thanks to various reviews, reading lists and summaries over the years. I enjoy it, it’s (usually) quick and easy to read, doesn’t require much thought or concentration and can be incredibly entertaining (often for all the wrong reasons).

Like many people, my first forage into the X-rated fiction department was Mills & Boon. There were a few on our bookshelves at home, either my Mum’s or my sister’s, and as I read pretty much anything, inevitably they eventually got picked up.

It was then I discovered just how easy to read they were. Not just Mills & Boon but a large majority of the genre. The stories are simple, generic and predictable – more often than not within ten pages you know who is going to shack up with who and what is going to happen at the end. This is no bad thing, it means they are gentle on you which is sometimes exactly what you need.

I often find myself a soft-porn novella to read after finishing a particularly long or difficult book, or even an amazing one, because they let my brain reset without having to really concentrate. They are also great for getting you back into reading if you have been struggling to get into anything. I am a big fan of the Amazon Kindle Top Free Romance section.

Of course, not all X-rated fiction is ‘soft’ porn. I have accidentally found myself reading more hardcore stuff (this is what you get for not reading blurbs and picking things by their covers or titles) but I must confess I usually find these ones a bit ridiculous. Sex isn’t particularly sexy if you get all brutally honest about it and in hardcore stories people tend to try and be more detailed instead of making it romantic and fluffy and it all gets a bit cringey and/or awkwardly hilarious.

Sometimes X-rated fiction is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. I have written before about people who try and write whole sex books without ever mentioning the character’s private parts directly. Euphemisms that involve sentences like ‘he stirred her love cauldron with his stick’ and such like are not sexy. They are just funny. This of course is one reason why they are so entertaining but it only really works out in short stories and novellas – anything longer than that and it drives you mad.

A well written X-rated book can have just as much literary merit as any other – if the author bothers to build up a storyline beyond ‘Oh look, hot guy. I’ll get me some of that!’ and has characters with personalities and depth. I really enjoy the Psy-Changeling series by Nalini Singh – they have mystery, murder, politics, sci-fi, fantasy and sex. The sex is not the point of the story, it is a part of it and serves purpose in the character’s development and relationships. I know they get looked down on a bit for being ‘too racy’ but they never pretend to be anything else so I don’t really know what those people are on about. Even the covers scream ‘sexy book!’

I know a few people have been a bit horrified when I casually mention reading such things when we are talking about books we read but I do read them and there’s nothing wrong with it. Nobody had an issue with people reading 50 Shades on the tube so why is it weird that I read books from the same genre (that are A LOT better written)? It isn’t.

 


54Library book day!

55Rice is boring. This is what I add to it to make it tasty instead!

56Duplo gets everywhere in our house at the moment…

57With Arthur’s birthday creeping up I realised I needed to invest in some non-Christmas wrapping paper – all of these were 50p each (2m rolls) and I am a big bit in love with the dinosaur stuff!

58These four little money boxes watch over us every day from the top of our bookshelf in the front room.

59We had a great day today – surprising Arthur with a trip to Thomas Land as a birthday treat (sneaking in on the day before his birthday so he still qualified for the £5 entry ticket!) It was a great day out for the four of us – I think us grown ups had as much fun as the kids did :D

60Today was all about this little cutie – four today :)


Today is the fourth birthday of the family baby. I’m not entirely sure how that has happened so fast, but happened it has. My beautiful, funny, temperamental, clever, unpredictable, chatty little boy is four years old today and to celebrate I have borrowed the lovely idea of interviewing him from TiddlyOmPomPom.

4todayMe: Hello, Arthur!

A: Hello!

Me: How old are you today?

A: Three.

Me: How old are you going to be on Sunday?

A: Four!

Me: What’s been your very favourite thing about being three?

A: Er… it’s er, it’s, it’s… my favourite thing is playing with my cars.

Me: Oh! And what’s your favourite colour?

A: Er, green.

Me: What’s your favourite number?

A: Er… Three.

Me: What’s your favourite food?

A: Er, sausages. Not cooked sausages.

Me: Do you mean cold sausages? (I don’t feed him raw sausages, just for the record…)

A: Yeah.

Me: What’s your favourite pudding?

A: *excited gasp*  *long pause* Cake!
Me: Cake! Who do you love?

A: Er… Logan and Marcel and Mummy.

Me: Anyone else?

A: Yeah. Mrs Williams. *whispers* She’s my teacher.

Me: And who do you think loves you?

A: Er… *points at toy hanging in the front room window* That minion.

Me: That minion…

A: Yeah!

Me: Anyone else, or just that minion?

A: Er, no.

Me: Oh, okay.

A: I think it’s gonna be… MORE MINIONS!

Me: More minions?! Do all the minions love you?

A: *Nods*

Me: Okay. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A: I want to be a RACE CAR… and a motorbike!

Me: And a motorbike? Wow! Do you want any pets?

A: *shakes head* Just only two. *holds up three fingers*

Me: Only two? Which two?

A: The motorbike and the car.

Me: Pets?

A: No, the motorbike and the car.

Me: Oh, okay… What’s your favourite thing to do?

A: Er, watch TV.

Me: What’s your favourite game?

A: Er, I Spy!

Me: And where’s your favourite place?

A: My Dad’s. Yeah, I get to play with my Cars from Cars Two and Cars One.

And then I asked the killer question that I can’t be bothered to type up so you can watch him answer it instead – plus it is far cuter watching him than reading his answers. (And before you ask, no, I have no idea what he is on about for half of this…)

So there you have it. Arthur Harry is officially now four whole years old. Happy Birthday Arthur Bean xxx

 

 


After Tuesday’s lesson I also drove the car into town to pick the kids up and then Caius had me driving round for a bit afterwards doing all my favourite things like roundabouts and driving down the steepest hills he could find. It was so terrible, Arthur fell asleep in the back.

Then in the morning I drove to Morrisons, parked almost as badly as last time, drove home again and came to the conclusion that I hate our drive. I hope nobody else wants to park on it today because I have left Chaos smack bang in the middle of it! Caius says I’m improving though so that’s good. Doesn’t feel like I am though :/

Wednesday’s lesson was a bit of a mixed bag. It turns out I excel at emergency stops but my week of muddled brain power is mostly continuing and I had issues with what pedal to press first and when to change gear. I just feel all flustered about it all the time now and it’s bugging me a bit.

I have done a few bits more of practising in Chaos that mostly seems to involve stalling in the middle of mini roundabouts but my parking is improving and likewise my parking. Driving in the dark is becoming a thing, too. Once I remember where the switch for the lights is.

I think I need to re-find my confidence a bit. I’m just feeling a little shaky about everything even though I’m not failing spectacularly at anything (aside from getting all the way round tiny little roundabouts.)


Attachment-1I have been asked to review this book by the author and I am looking forward to reading it as it sounds like good fun. I really like the cover – the use of the red text on the black and white background is very effective and draws you in. The steamy image gives you no doubt as to the content of the book and the tag line is intriguing.

I’ll get stuck in and be back soon to let you know what I think – AND I’ll be giving away a copy of the ebook to one of you lucky lot as well. Stay tuned!

 

Blurb:

Magazine writer Jess gets her latest freelance assignment – can anyone go from Vanilla to kinky in just fourteen days – and would they even want to?

Jess’s editor, Leyla wants to jump on the ‘mommy porn’ bandwagon, with a sexy blog, and she thinks Jess is just the girl to do it. Jess is given the List, which gives each sexy scenario and also the names and numbers of people who indulge in the weird and wonderful sex stuff, should she wish to ask their advice or expert opinion.

Jess’s latest freelance assignment is a “list” of sexy scenarios to try out. Her busy boyfriend Max is enthusiastic about the variety of sensual adventures. Until they reach the “threesome” option. Max is keen, but if they go too far will they risk everything?

 

What books are you lusting after this week?


I go through phases with painting my nails – I love it when they are all pretty and lovely but I hate actually doing it. I’m getting better, but it still sometimes looks like Tori did my nails for me – I’m just clumsy and wobble a lot. I’m also REALLY BAD at sitting still and not doing anything for as long as it takes nail varnish to dry (approximately 400 years…) so I usually scuff it or smudge it or dent it before it is properly set.

That aside, I often buy myself new nail varnish when I want to cheer myself up and I often find myself lusting over it when I really can’t justify buying it. So I thought I’d vent some of my lust here.

3685611_R_Z001A_UC1657483I have tried a few times to do nail art using whatever I had to hand (cocktail sticks and cotton buds are just two examples) and it has always gone as terribly as you’d expect. I would really love a starter kit like this one so I’d have all the tools to at least try and make funky spots and stripes without making it look like I lost a fight with a mad cat dispensing nail varnish. This Rio Nail Artist Starter Kit is from Argos and looks just right for a beginner like me.

300I quite like dark coloured nail varnish but I also like sparkles so this Scandalous colour from Revlon Nail Enamel is the perfect combination of the two. (Currently £6.49 at Boots)

gelly_nail_paint_6_p_7b7218I have heard so many people rave about this range that I kind of really want to try it out. It is far more affordable than I expected, too. I like a lot of the colours in the range but I have picked out ‘Prickly Pear‘ to feature because I don’t have a pale purple in my collection so it is something different.

speedy_nail_paint_6_pit_stopAnother Barry M product but this time from their new range – I said I’m not great at waiting for stuff to dry so I love the sound of Speedy Quick Dry. Just what I need! I actually quite like this ‘Pit Stop‘ colour – it would go well with pretty much anything. A good everyday colour.

41Bm9L9MqeL._SY300_I really want this just to have a play and see how it works – making patters on your nails with a magnet? AWESOME! (Currently £13 at Boots)

 


cbaWWhere The Wild Things Are’


There can’t be many people who aren’t familiar with this picture book. It is a total classic.

Such a simple story of wistful fantasy and fun, Where The Wild Things Are is a daydream I’m sure we all had as children in one form or another.

I have been jealous of Max’s wolf suit for many years until I managed to get myself a wolf onesie last year and settled my irritation. I’ll be honest, it was probably that suit that made me love the book so much – more than anything else. (I can’t find a photo of me wearing mine without me drinking wine in it…)

1546351_610596350507_2140877308_nI love the fact that it doesn’t have words on every page – the pictures do the talking and this is great for letting kids take over the story telling and encouraging their imagination. The pictures are rich and detailed with lots to point out and talk about, giving the story depth and adding to the characters.

I loved that this was on my set text list at uni because it made me pick it back up as a grown up and look at it with fresh eyes. I enjoy sharing this with my kids now and hope that one day they’ll enjoy sharing it with theirs, too :)

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