Listography – Hi, I’m a Celebrity…*wallop*

This week’s listography is the Top 5 Celebrities You’d Love To Punch (or slap/wedgie etc, depending on how violent you are feeling/much you dislike them). It is being guest hosted by Metal Mummy this week whilst Kate Takes 5 has a bit of a blog make-over.

Here’s my line up:

1. Jeremy Vine

Now, I am not generally a violent person but this man brings out a different side to me. His voice alone is enough to make me want to hit things (preferably him) and his face does nothing much to help. He *always* looks smug. Urgh. No, I’m not even sure what it is (aside from the smugness) that makes me revile him so, but he is, to me, one of the most infuriating and maddening people on the planet. And they let him take over presenting Eggheads on BBC which upset me because I love that programme… (yes, yes, I know. Sad sad sad.)

 

2. Chris Evans

Why BBC? Why did you let him have the breakfast slot on Radio 2? WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY????????????????

He is irritating, loud, obnoxious, so-not-funny-it-hurts, has annoying phone ins, stupid jingles and doesn’t speak clearly so you miss half of what he is saying (should he be saying anything actually worth listening to for a change). The only redeeming thing is that he plays decent music between all the crap. Now I can just about cope with this in the afternoon or evening, but not first thing in the morning. That just guarantees me to be in a foul mood and I’m not much of a morning person at the best of times. Drive-Time is where he should be (if he has to be anywhere), not breakfast.

And never will I understand what Billie Piper was thinking when she married him. She is hot, funny, appears quite intelligent, has everything going for her…and she married him??? The mind boggles….

 

3. Gavin Henson

So you’ve got a six-pack. Woo. Guess what? NOBODY CARES! And anyway, you play professional rugby – you’re meant to have lots of muscles and be generally fit. You’d be pretty rubbish otherwise – when a load of other blokes built like trees decided to jump on you to steal the ball you’d be flat. And probably dead.

Yeah, this guy fancies himself far too much to be anything like as attractive as he makes out. He’s self-centered, obnoxious and, actually, not all that pretty anyway. And he’s not that good at rugby either for that matter *ducks attacks from Welsh rugby fans*

 

4. Bruce Forsyth

I’m probably going to get told off for this one, and I admit punching a man his age is a little extreme, so I would settle for putting him into a very remote nursing home with extra locks on the doors instead.

I quite liked him in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. That’s about it. Other than that he’s just gone from being mildly irritating but bearable to full-on ‘get-off-my-tv-screen-you-stopped-being-funny-ten-years-ago’.

Also, he’s creepy. He always seems a bit too friendly with the pretty young ladies that inevitably surround him on shows like Strictly Come Dancing (which I love, aside from him). And I believe he was quoted saying ‘Fruit for lunch and the love of a young woman’ was his recipe for a long and healthy life when he turned 80.

Um, ew?

 

5. Lee Evans

Just. Not. Funny. *readies self for mass of abuse*

 

Who do you secretly (or not so secretly) want to wallop? Link up at Metal Mummy and see who agrees (or disagrees!)

 

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Don’t forget my TrueBlood giveaway that is going on here – Winner is drawn at 6.30pm TOMORROW (Friday 21st January). Just comment on the post to get your name in the hat to win yourself a copy of Dead To The World, the fourth novel in Charlaine Harris’ best-selling series .