Okay okay…The Memetastic Award

I have been tagged twice in this *shameful* award now – once by Hannah at Metal Mummy and once by Wendy at Inside the Wendy House – so I suppose I had better get on and do it, inflict it on some more people and then forget all about it…

First off, here are the RULES (censored like Wendy’s I’m afraid – hers was for her 8 years old’s sake, mine is for my mother’s)

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don’t have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It’s so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there’s even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It’s horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we’re creating here. If you need a higher resolution version… I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we’ll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we’re just on the honour system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying b******s! But don’t go crazy trying to think of stuff, you’ll see by the example I’ve set below that we’re not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don’t like or don’t really have much of an opinion about. I don’t care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don’t really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will  hunt you down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don’t know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I’ll leave you alone. I’m serious. I’m going to do these things.

5. This one isn’t actually a rule, but once you do the above, please come back here and link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes.

Right, here are my fibs and my fact:

1. I am totally obsessed with the SAW films and have seen them all about 20 times over. There’s just something weirdly compulsive about watching mindless gore and death that I cannot resist.

2. I once had to have one of my guinea-pigs put down because my over-enthusiastic rabbit humped him so much he broke his spine. It was horribly traumatic and I’ve never owned another rabbit since.

3. When I was at university I was dared to knock on a random door in our street, pose by the pond in their front garden like a gnome until they answered the door and then refuse to speak/move/go away until they gave up and went back inside/threatened to call the police. It is amazing what you will do after enough vodka has passed your lips.

4. I have a birthmark on my bottom that looks a bit like a wonky butterfly. It is part of the reason I hate wearing a swimming costume – part of it sticks out and looks like a dubious brown smear – so not sexy.

5. I once went to a fancy dress party dressed at Mrs Potts the teapot from Beauty and the Beast. I got teased about it so much I have refused to drink tea ever since.

And here are my nominees for this utter waste of cyber-space and time. Sorry guys…

Ivy Gilmore

Over The Hill Mum

GhostWriterMummy

Liberty Gilmore

Waterbirthplease