Dear Arthur,

Night time is for sleeping in. Not for being awake for hours staring around cutely, hiccuping, eating too much, throwing up all over Mummy/your bed/the floor, staring around some more and another lot of hiccups or two.

When you go for option two the next day is horrible because Mummy is a zombie and you are overtired.

Also, could you save your throwing up for when we are at home and not out with the pushchair? Please?

All My Love,

Zombie-Mummy

 

*****

Dear Sunshine,

Hello! We have missed you. Please stay a while – it is nice being able to wear Tori out in the park every day.

Yours,

Carole

*****

Dear Unmentionables,

Heat-rash in your location is just mean. Please stop suffering from it.

Yours,

Fidgety-And-Uncomfortable.

 

*****

Dear Breasts,

If there isn’t a baby attached, please don’t drip. Wet patches are not sexy.

Thanks.

Slightly-Soggy-Breastfeeding-Mum

 

*****

Dear Random Woman Outside,

I heard you tutting and muttering about me being very young, having two small children ‘and not one ring in sight’ as you walked past. You weren’t very subtle.

1.Thank you for thinking I look ‘too young’ – I choose to take that as a compliment in my current over-tired, unkempt state.

2. I got a bit podgy when I was pregnant. My engagement ring is on my necklace because I like having circulation in my finger.

3. What’s it got to do with you anyway?

Yours,

The-One-Who-Was-Tempted-To-Accidentally-Hit-You-With-The-Double-Buggy