October 10th is World Mental Health Awareness Day, so it seems as good a day as any for a quick update!
Overall, I’m actually doing pretty good. I’m so tired I could happily just lie down on the floor and nap at any given moment, and I do keep bursting into tired tears over next to nothing at all, but I am okay.
I’m coping way better with the unexpected and the chaotic than I have previously managed to cope with the mundane, and that can only be a good thing.
(I’m not writing this post very fast because the zoo is ‘helping’.)
I think the difference is that I’m a bit more capable of seeing that ‘now’ is not ‘forever’, so yeah, I’m a bit behind on the laundry and I haven’t got as much housework done as I’d planned or would like but… it will all still be there next week and nothing is going to fall down because I haven’t hoovered. (We will just all be a little more fluffy after sitting on the sofa because I haven’t un-fuzzed it.)
And possibly more importantly, the fact that it hasn’t been done for a week has not caused me to fall into total task paralysis and a state of overwhelm so vast that I cannot face even starting the job because I believe I have already catastrophically and irreversibly failed.
I had not realised how much of my life was spent in that state until the last few weeks. But it was a lot.
I do not miss it.
(Zoo update, Chase went away to chew on a cow hoof – I have now been cat-trapped. This is why I am always slightly fuzzy round the edges…)
Getting my brain in some semblance of order has helped me start getting the house in some semblance of order, which in turn helps my brain stay a little less frazzled round the edges when stuff doesn’t go to plan.
So I would say that I am in a better place mentally now than I was this time last year – here’s hoping that next year is better again. Or at least the same again as now.
And if you are feeling less than okay then remember that 1: it is okay to not feel okay; 2: you’re not alone; and 3: the world is a better place because you are in it.
If you need someone to listen, or just want to read some tips, or find out how you can help others if you feel in a position to do so, then I highly recommend the charity Mind.
I know there isn’t much of today left, but if you can, try and carve out five minutes of what is left of it to do something kind for yourself.
And remember as always…
Carole Finds Her Wings 