Mother vs Chav
The baby’s crying –
third time tonight.
Inconsolable wailing –
nothing I do is right.
It was that idiot that did it –
I’d swear and call him names
but none are rude enough to fit. –
Yes, that pillock is to blame.
Roaring past the flat
at sixty miles an hour.
(Did I mention he’s a prat?)
Waking my precious flower.
She’s sleeping sweetly now,
I calmed her with a drink.
The stress is easing from my brow –
I’ll go to bed, I think.
VRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
A dirty nappy was beside her bed,
suddenly it was in my hand –
then launching at his head,
Bet that wasn’t what he planned…
*
Written as part of the 100 Word Challenge For Grown Ups and also for National Poetry Day 2012
That brought a smile to my face – hope it hit its mark.
Me too, I threatened enough idiots with it when T was small!
Don’t provoke a sleep-deprived Mom by waking the baby – again! Funny story, and turning it into a poem makes it even funnier.
Thanks 🙂 I wanted to try and take part in National Poetry Day bt had this idea for the story – made sense to try and combine them!
Lol. That’d be a great punishment for speeding: being hit by a used nappy!
Well deserved too in some cases!
An appropriate punishment for any inconsiderate sloth. 🙂
If I was a better aim I fear a few local idiots would have felt my wrath in real life 😉
Love it. Very amusing indeed 🙂
Thanks 🙂