So, next month I will be adventuring off to Malta for a few days to celebrate Liberty finally getting hitched. I am very excited and also a little concerned about the fact that I don’t have anything to wear.

Not for the wedding – I have my dress for that – it’s the rest of the time out there that I’m worried about.

Malta is a not-cold country and we are going there in June. It is going to be not-cold.

My wardrobe is not very warm-weather friendly. I don’t really have a clue.

We are flying so I need to pack light, which, to be fair, is easy if I rely on clothes I already own that are weather appropriate/actually fit me.

We aren’t going for long, I can probably manage with clothes I have, so long as I double check I have at least one pair of shorts that actually do up around me and some sort of light jumper/jacket that isn’t going to roast me.

HOWEVER –

I need a bikini or swimming costume of some variety because my current one is very… practical. I’d kind of like one that’s prettier. But it also has to be something I’m comfortable in and this is where I start to have issues.

I need it to have shorts style bottoms. Can I find these anywhere in any colour other than black and cheaper than £30 for just the shorts? No, no I can not.

I tried Matalan the other day and although they had every type of top half you could imagine for boobs and bodies of all shapes and sizes, they still expected you to be okay with knickers at the bottom. I am not okay with this.

Please help. Where should I look? The last time I wore a bikini was in February 2012 (outside, in the UK – I kid you not. I was at the hen-weekend for my other best friend and the weather was crazy – there was ice on the outdoor plunge pool but in the sun it was bikini warm) and that one no longer fits me. Plus I have no idea where I got it from. And it was black.

So yeah, where do I go for not-black, not-skimpy, pretty, not-bank-breaking summer swimwear?

PLEASE HELP ME, TINY FRIENDS IN MY SCREEN!