Depression · Health · Life · mental health · YALC

How Things Are Now

I’ve been taking Duloxetine for a couple of months now and things have settled down.

I’m no longer getting so many muscle spasms – they are few and far between now and not so annoying. I’m quite pleased that was a temporary side effect!

I am still pretty tired most of the time but now it’s the sort of tired I’m fairly certain all parents of two small children feel – I don’t need two naps a day to survive any more. In fact, I don’t even need to nap every single day any more which feels like such a massive positive after months and months of not being able to make it through a day.

The main side-effect that I have had has been weight gain. Quite a lot of it. I’m now 13 stone which is not where I like to be weight-wise at all.

HOWEVER, mentally I am feeling so much better I can hardly believe it. Yes, I still have bad days, of course I do, but there are less of them and they are days rather than weeks.

I don’t feel overwhelmed by everything anymore, just by some things, which makes it more managable. I am not afraid of going to a place where people are any more, I can go to the shops and not freak out – heck, I went to YALC and London Comic Con and barely felt freaked out at all.

Meeting the very lovely Lisa Williamson at YALC – without having a panic attack over it!

I feel brighter, more confident, more myself. I feel normal after beginning to fear that I’d never feel like that ever again.

Next step is to battle this weight back off – time to think about what I eat and resist comfort eating. Time to get back into exercising and getting out and about.

It’s probably going to take a while but I have given myself the target of Liberty’s wedding which isn’t until next summer so I have plenty of time. And my target is just to get back to how I was before I started the Duloxetine – I had wanted to lose a bit of weight then, too but now I want to be back there at least.

All in all I am feeling positive and confident about the future. Life is good.

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